Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Simple Test

I have a theory on people. It's not a particularly good theory, but it's what I've got. I can tell whether I want to continue a relationship with someone by whether or not they liked Die Hard. If you like Die Hard like a normal, red-blooded American, then you and I might be friends. If you don't like Die Hard, could you watch it again and give it a second chance? I think you'd like it. Go on, I'll wait.

You still don't like it? Are you sure you watched the right movie? Remember, this is the first Die Hard we're talking about, not the sequels. It's the one with Reginald VelJohnson, who plays a cop. You may remember him from a brief appearance in Ghostbusters when he played a cop or the long-running series Family Matters where he plays a cop.

Really, you didn't like it? Are you sure you even watched it? Sometimes people say they watched Die Hard but then don't. Others don't even bother to claim they watched it and just declare that they don't like it. Don't be like that. At least watch it. Go ahead, I'll still be here.

So you watched it. What did you think? What do you mean you hated it? Were we watching the same movie? How can you not like Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber? This movie has vintage 80's William Atherton, who was at the top of his game. Of course, like VelJohnson, atherton also plays the same character in every movie, including Ghostbusters.

What do you mean you don't like Ghostbusters?

I think you should leave.

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