The root of disciple is discipline. I'm not very good at being the former because I lack the latter. I have the abilities to do many great things, but what I don't have is the discipline to make it happen. Too often, I like to coast, to get just good enough and then not push further. That's one of the reasons behind this blog, I need to post every day because it makes be disciplined. I need to get better at this.
I know that if I want God to trust me with bigger things, I need to first begin with the smaller things.
I sometimes wonder what God wants from me, what I'm supposed to do. Here's the thing, when I think about it, I know what I need to do, but it's not what I always want to do because it's hard and probably good for me. I want the glory. I want to be doing the Big, Important Stuff. [TM] However, my attitude is all wrong about it because it's about my ego, not the Kingdom. I need to learn humility and to accomplish what's already before me. God has given me Talents and I need to invest.
So here's where I know God is leading me to do right now.
Pray. I need to pray for my marriage, my wife, the students I teach, and my purpose. I need to daily seek God out and make my day about Him, not me. I used to pray a lot. Now I talk to God, or more to the point, AT God but I don't quiet myself, sit and wait for the still, small voice of the Lord.
Write. I want to be a writer. A famous writer. I'm pretty good at writing and God has even given me some opportunities to use this gift, but I am also lazy. I don't push myself to be better, I like to rest on my laurels and not invest. That's why I need to update this blog regularly, post other places like SCL and work on those projects that are often a grind.
I also need to write more speeches. I'm a member of Toastmasters and have accomplished quite a bit, but again, the temptation is to rest on my laurels. I need to push myself, not just to be better for my own sake, but rather so I can build up my skills and bless others. The more I work, the more I'm able to bless.
I need to realize that the more I work at writing, the better I will get and the more I'll enjoy and be rewarded by it. But it all starts with discipline.
Grade. I teach college. I love it, but what I don't love is grading and giving feedback. However, that's the most important part, as it's how my students get better. These students are my responsibility, as I know that God is behind a lot of my course makeup. I am there to be a servant and to help them, to invest my talents into the next generation. (Or the previous generation coming back to school, nothing at all wrong with that.)
I need to not just zip through this grading but try to think about how I can help these students. Otherwise, I cheat them out of an education. So I need to grade a little each day. That way it still gets done in a timely manner, and I'm not doing so much that I don't give the needed and helpful feedback.
So that's where I am. I've done the first part and made the list. I like making lists. Now I've got to actually go through this list and do it every day. Not because I have to or because God will smite me if I don't, but because I want to be in a better place than I am right now. I know life can be better, I know God has a great plan in store for me, and this is how I'll reach it.