Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Why am I here?

This is, perhaps, the Ultimate Question. Right up there with the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. (It's 42, by the way.) We often ask why we are here in a cosmic sense, but then we narrow it down to why am I at this particular place in my life? Why am I here?

Tonight I think I may have part of that answer.

I've been praying since Sunday for 4 things: my marriage, my wife, my student, and my purpose. It's this last one I'm excited about. While God hasn't told me where I am going, I think I got an answer for why I'm here. For me, that's critical. I've spent a lot of time regretting the choices that brought me to Houston. It hasn't been easy here, and I'm far apart from friends and family. (Though living far from family might actually be a bonus, but that's another topic for another time.) I keep thinking of the choices I could and should have made, but looking back, perhaps those would have been the wrong choices. Tonight I think I may know why that is.

What, you may be wondering, is the big deal? Why am I so excited? Here's the deal, this thing hasn't played out yet so I could be jumping the gun, but I just have to share. I may be responsible for getting a friend's kid into college with most, if not all, expenses covered.

Here's the situation. I've been working as an SAT.ACT tutor for almost 8 years. It's supported me through the lean times, and I'm pretty good at it.

My friend has a daughter who needs to get into college. Not only that, but she needs to pay for college, as her father, my friend, is out of work and can't afford to send her. Thus, she needs an awesome score on the PSAT and SAT to get there. Her first practice test did not go so well and her getting a good PSAT score seemed unlikely without serious help from a tutor, which would be incredibly expansive and with her father out of work, impossible.

Except God sent me here, had me gain lots of experience as a tutor, and then put me in their lives. I was happy to tutor her for free (they did feed me several times so I got something out of it) and help my friend get his daughter into college. She still hasn't taken the PSAT yet, but her score jumped up A LOT. In fact, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that she could be a National Merit Finalist, which means tons of money for college.

So I wonder, is this the reason I'm here. To help her do well on the test, get into college and pay for it? Perhaps God has a larger purpose for her and He needed me to give her an assist. If that's the case, if I am here to help her when no one else could (or would), then I know I'm in the right place. God has sent so many people to help me, why shouldn't I be a part of blessing others.

So perhaps I got a glimpse of the plan tonight. I can't say for certain, though, and part of me feels arrogant for even thinking this. I might be just making a big deal out of a great moment and arrogant to consider myself part of God's plan.

Then again, I just might be.

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